Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
