i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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