Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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