Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
