I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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