It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
