I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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