she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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