That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
