Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
