What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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