I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
