Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
