Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize