69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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