I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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