what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
