i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize