Hey man sorry I got all grabby
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
