being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think people are normalizing furries
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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