Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
