you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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