Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
