Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
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