He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Dicks are not precious.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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