just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize