i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
