As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize