I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
