Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
