remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My ATM looks so different sober.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
