you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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