You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
