Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i drank out of a bidet.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize