I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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