Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
