There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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