I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
