pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
is that a dick in a sweater?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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