so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
