idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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