i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
