i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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