just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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