you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
