But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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