I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize