Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize