It's Friday. Sex?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
