is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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