when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
