six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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