Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
