Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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