dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize