About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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