He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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